“I Just Want You to be Happy” Bullshit

“Do you believe in this bullshit called love?”

You know that part of romance story when one of ’em start saying things like “we can’t be together.” , “i love you but,…” Then cheesy stuff and all the complicated conflict then in the end, saying things like “If you truly love me, you’ll let me go.” Vice versa. Like WTF. Because we know, in the end, they will be together or someone dies.

Well, in reality…

Hmm… I’m not sure how to say this. I’ll tell you something first. I didn’t believe in love. ( ̄▽ ̄) and I think it slapped me… I was always this kid makin fun of these cheesy words and hey, if you know me, I was never serious about this thing (since I don’t care and I don’t wanna get married). I always thought that saying things like,”I just want to see you happy.” Or “I don’t mind as long as you’re happy.” It’s impossible. Everyone wanna be happy, right? Humans are selfish. The flesh is selfish, it’s a part of me and you. The world is cruel. The world is unfair. The world favors the strong. In order to be happy, you gotta work for it. 

So, if you follow the story these day, yup, I’ve been really crazy up and down. Well, I’ve been eating well (monstrous like usual) but still, I’m unable to sleep early. I’m ok and perfectly fine though… So, 心配しない。The thing is… I’m starting to do this “I just want you to be happy” bullshit. Just because I don’t wanna be selfish and I truly want this person to be happy. It’s because of this love thing.

You see, I love this person. Like the bullshit version, yes, that much. Isn’t it weird for someone like me to… Feel this way? Hahaha… Well, I’m not saying I’m inhuman… It’s the way I feel. It’s not right for me and the path I’ve chosen. (; ̄ェ ̄)

BUT, if this person can make me happy and vice versa, shouldn’t we be together…?

That’s what I thought.

Although, I want this person to find someone else. Not because I don’t wanna be the one, I’m just… Afraid?

“Love is so cruel. Shouldn’t it be warm, kind, and full of happiness?”

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