What’s Beyond

Story carries on.

So, I have this dream so many times, like about this special someone. Kinda drives me crazy.

For me, I know that I shouldn’t look back. Look at me years ago, I’m perfectly fine by my own. I did this and that, I got friends, I laughed.

You know, in those empty years (when that special someone was gone entirely from my life), I kinda feel… Well, I lost some part of me but, on the other hand, I thought I could just move on. You know, like someone told me, it’s a process of growing up. Well, I always want to be more mature because I know I’m childish and I really look up to those cool people, they are so mature, they look good, they’re awesome, inspiring. I always want to be someone like that. So, I thought about moving on. I did some things in my life that I’m not proud of, we all do, we all hurt somebody before, right? We’re humans.

So, my side of the story…

Yeah, I miss that special someone.

You know, recently, I’ve been very… Disturbed by myself. I have to study for test, I have to do that poster thing. I did the poster thing, today’s the last session and yeah! We did it, Baby! About that test, I still need to do another one this Saturday so, I have to study hard. 頑張る! Also, I have this feeling that I can’t describe. Well, if you see my drawings, maybe you can tell how I feel.

Anyway, you guys know, I have never talk about love this, love that, broken, dying shit… I mean, I never really know how it feels to get your heart shattered and pierced; To have a feeling that will never get paid. And how I always think people are exaggerating about this stuff. However, now I really do know how it feels. It hurts ’till I couldn’t breath.

Ok, how come someone like me could ever feel this shit? I mean, I have no interest in human relationship AT ALL!

But, I guess God wants me to know how it feels so, I can understand people.

I feel like I annoyed some people with how I act recently. I mean, I couldn’t control myself. I did this and that, things I don’t want to do, things I don’t mean to say.

Forgive me…

After all the torture, I come to realize some things, I learned a bit through this experience. I hope, in the future, I can grow stronger, more mature, and I hope I can inspire people with things I do.

“Beyond every torment life gives us, we can always find something more than just pain.”

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