I’ve been always struggling with things that I couldn’t tell most people about, even my closest. It’s very heavy… On my shoulders, that I hope God could just send me an angel to help me carry all that tragedy.
Though, tonight, I want to tell you guys that you are not the only one struggling with anger, hatred, pain, vengeance.
I, too, was once feel so ashamed of myself that I wish to disappear.
So, I was talking with my friends today, my best friends. I told them about my nightmares, my story, everything I fear. Just wanna share what they told me.
Basically, one of my best friend have something going with her family. And I just realized that I have a lot of people around me with family problems. It’s not that I want to tell them what to do it’s just that because I know, I care about them, I’ve been through suicidal state, I’ve been to depression, anger, bad things. I know how it feels, maybe a bit different but, I want to encourage people. So, I asked them if I can share some of the conversations. Yup, they said it’s ok.
“What do you think of this? (Broken home issues) What’s your advice?”
“Its hard. I think she should finish her studies, encourage her to go on have fun with friends, vacation or smth.”
“She can be angry. I mean, she is not at fault, its her parents’ fault. They created a mess, never be responsible enough to their daughter. I think i would just say, love your mom, by studing as hard as she can, dont waste money and make her mom proud. And maybe hug her, its really hurtful if she alr know she is an unwanted.. “
“What if you can meet these girls?” (Who has same issues)
“If i can meet her, i will just ask her to vent all she wants.. she need someone to talk to.. or scream to… and after she let it all out she can be more ‘free’…. and then take her to places and make her realise that there is still hope”
“Well saying ‘move on’ would piss her off i think..
I’d advise her to talk to her dad first. Talk to him about her feelings on him not being there for her and her mom. The dad’s response won’t be important, she just has to let it out.”
Here’s one of my best friend’ story
“My dad’s a dickhead. He always love my bro more because he’s a dude. He gave him a car and money when he was just 13.
He cheated on my mom numerous times and I was the one that discovered those texts from hookers to him.
I have a step bro and/or sis in sulawesi because my dad used to hv sex with this one hooker and moved to surabaya bcs his family doesn’t approve that hooker. So yeah. He had kids that he also abandoned.
Sooo i kind of can relate to your story because in some ways i’ve felt abandoned by my dad… My mom had spent so much tears on him and repeatedly help her vent out anger on him… You really need closure, when your own dissatisfaction towards your parents goes unnoticed, that anger will nvr go away. It’s not good to keep that kind of feeling inside forever. You won’t be able to move on.
This is how she feel about all this…
“You want to study hard and make a good living for the future but once in a while that anger resurfaced and I go back to square one. Angry.”
I just want you guys to know, because, like I always said, be nice to everyone, everyone’s fighting a battle you might not know.