“Be nice to everyone because everyone is fighting a battle you never know.”
I read that quote somewhere. Don’t even know whose. Although it really change my attitude towards people I met. I kinda got my darkest memories got pulled to the surface last night.
Now that I know, toward certain people, I can say stuff that the ordinary would never understand. The pain, the suffering, things that suffocate you when you try to remember, when you try to open up and tell.
It’s fucked up.
Yesterday, I went to Ikebukuro with my friends. We kinda finish early so, I just want to do something because the night is still young, Baby… I asked them if they want to karaoke or anything. I just wanna chat and have fun. Ended up in my house. Hehehe…
We started to chat some nonsense, as that is alway how one open up an interesting conversation. Later that night, we played random game and loser got to answer a random questions. Good idea to know more about your friend. Although I don’t really expect the question to be so… Deep.
I don’t know if it’s normal to you guys, it’s just weird for me to open up and tell my story, my traumatic days, my weird “addiction” , and my darkest day. For me, it fucking hurts. Just thinking about it, tightened my chest and made my tremble… In the end, I can always hide stupid fucking expression but, I kinda feel these people get it. I too, never expect people to be so open to me as I never think of humans that way.
This is kinda new to me, the feeling that you can encourage yourself to tell more than 1 person about things that make you feel bad just by bringing them into your mind. Of course, feels good to have these people to laugh with me, sharing their life with me, listening to my life. These are the people who will stay with me forever (because obviously, they already know too much).
Point is, that hollow heart can be filled step by step.
Feels good when you can just tell someone about your life and they try to understand rather than judging you!
These are the people I need in my freaking life!
I’m kinda shocked my myself because I was able to tell my story just like that. No extras.
But, hey, isn’t it hard not to feel bad about yourself? When you realized you’ve done some things that you shouldn’t…? When you realized you’ve broken so many hearts for some pleasure…?
When you think you can only struggle alone, that’s your biggest mistake.
Humans are weak. They need more than themselves to survive. No one is strong enough. No one.
So, I have found 2 more pieces of my life puzzle. I don’t like to see the picture filled with holes so, gonna patch’em right away, knowing it will fit perfectly.
“Through these laughters and tragedies, bind you. Completing the puzzle that was never meant to be completed.”