What’s Wrong With My Brother

My brother is emotionally unstable. He’s 13 years old and he’s in 5th grade. He once stabbed his teacher’s hand with a pencil, had a fight with his friend until his head was hit with a steel bottle and got some stitches. He hates school, study, reading, and always talk big about killing my dad, destroy the world, kill his teacher, kill his friend, buying a Ferrari and hit his teacher. He talk big but, he’s afraid if someone confront him. He’s a bit friendless too.
He play games but, never really know what the game is about. He played GTA and just run around killing people. Technically, we can say he’s stupid, bad in almost everything but, he’s obsessed about cars and he remember everything about them. (not 100% stupid, huh?)
He has no respect towards others. He also have excessive hatred towards my dad. It’s because my dad is the only one who can stop him when he’s rampaging. (Well, not if I punch him in the face but, don’t wanna dirty my hand, I got a bit OCD…)
He like swimming but, his skin is very sensitive so, he shouldn’t be swimming in public pool.
Also, he often goes from happy to crazy mad in minutes. I can say his mind is easily distracted.
I’m not his mom, so I’m gonna be mean and say that I should NEVER had a brother.

We brought him to a psychologist before, they gave him concerta 18 (we changed it to prohiper since it’s unavailable in our country) It contains methylphenidate Hydrochloride, some sort of… sedative.
Some people said he got ADHD but, I’m 100% sure he’s not. So, what is wrong with him?

I’m gonna be really honest about this. My brother is like… The ONLY wrong thing in my family. I don’t hate him but, I feel 100% ok without him. He likes me a lot so, it kinda gives me that guilty feeling. Mom will never admit that my little brother is… You know. It’s a mother thing.

To me, my little brother is a shame. I’m not being cruel, just being honest. He failed his class, twice. He’s too old for elementary school. He can’t count. I asked him like 6+8 and he’s a bit confused. He answered 13 or 12. Then I was shocked, then he recalculate. In the end, he get the answer but… It’s a shame. Plus he has no respect to my parents so, I feel that he shouldn’t be living with them. He doesn’t belong here. But, oh well, my parents would never abandon him. It’s a parent thing.

Now that my mom  is so frustrated, I think I should help her find a solution for my little brother. The mean thing is that I’m not doing this for my brother, I’m doing this for my mom. Somehow, I really don’t care about my brother, as much as I want to, I just can’t. Say I’m heartless and cold but, I’m trying to have some sympathy for him, I’m trying to behave like I’m the 1st born, the one who should never leave my siblings. I just can’t accept the fact that he is my brother. No, I can’t accept the fact that he is so useless.I’m worried about my parents, how they will get so sad because of one my brother act like he has no future.

So, here I am… Writing my feelings out… Trying to find help for my mom’s happiness… I just hate to see her like this…

God… Forgive me for not wanting my brother as much as everyone else.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Marion Nightfall says:

    Hey, just saying my opinion here. Maybe it’s an upbringing fault? Maybe your mother taught you the way she also taught your bro. Every kid has their own way of telling someone that something is wrong.

    In my opinion, your bro should have ur mom’s attention 110%, he needs that. I’m no pyschologist but I’ve seen this before and those kids requires a bit more attention.

    Please stop torturing your bro into psychologists, kids are kids. They are not grown ups in pressure. They HAVE NO pressure.

    Sorry if I offended you in any way, just sharing thoughts. Xo.

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